Thoughts on Reversing Cultures...

Its been almost 2 months since I've been home in the US. Although I started back more busy than I would have preferred, mostly staffing summer camps, it has also been a big blessing to be able to pour into kids and teens lives. Along the way, I've unexpectedly met missionary kids. No doubt living with missionaries has heightened my senses to be more aware of those around me, especially those from similar places. Those MK's has definitely been an encouragement from the Lord. The other day I was really missing something about living overseas. I didn't know how to describe it in words until a certain situation occurred. I was driving to town on a very low tank of gas. I stretched this tank even more by doing a few errands before hitting the gas station. It was while driving up a hill that my car began to chug and sputter... was I going to make it? PANIC... And that was when I realized that FAMILIAR feeling! Yes, a feeling all too familiar from living overseas. This time, instead of pure panic and fear, my mind kicked into SURVIVAL mode... what was I going to do about this situation? I would have to find some people to help push the car off the road... or go buy gas. Maybe I could coast down the hill into the nearest station... I don't know, maybe some of you already think like that. But not me.. at least not until now. Unexpected happenings were not peacefully dealt with before. In fact, I FEARED the unexpected and did NOT like it. That's why I did all I could to plan, prepare, and plan some more! But while sputtering up that hill, praying that I would make it to the station, I realized this felt WONDERFULLY comforting! Why? Because I was finally at a place I had to stop relying on myself and trust GOD alone all over again. Such a wonderful, ADVENTUROUS feeling:) You see, since arriving back in the US, I've realized how much our lives revolve around COMFORT (Myself included). Actually, almost EVERYTHING we do involves looking out for our COMFORT, from eating, to driving,... and even living and working. And the sad fact is, we are terribly missing out. Missing out on the hard nose realities of how life was meant to be and the relationships you make when you HAVE to RELY on others to help you make it through. I can honestly say that while its been wonderful to be back on home-soil, its been hard too. Its HARD to go on a 1 year mission trip and return SOLO... who can I talk to ... that truly UNDERSTANDS? No one in my town went to the Philippines to teach the Major children in our Village. One of the hardest things to realize has been that I CANNOT talk to my village friends. They don't have phones or internet way out there. I pray for them and think about them just about every day! Maybe it helps to be honest with ourselves about where we are, so we can face the facts and embrace not what we CAN'T do about it, but what we CAN do about it! I CAN send a package to missionaries and my village friends. I CAN Skype the Major girls! I CAN pray for my fellow Filipino friends. I CAN keep in contact with dear missionary friends through the internet. And maybe SOMEDAY I CAN and WILL return to the Philippines. Who knows? :) Even though part of this season is DIFFICULT, part of it is also BEAUTIFUL. To reflect on what GOD has been teaching me, to laugh about the fun times we've had, to cry over the things missed, and look forward to what a beautiful mess God can make of it all.